|THIS IS SOME MESSED UP SCHIZZLE.|
For as long as I can remember, I have been petrified of things bigger than myself. Actually, that's a pretty broad description. I'm petrified of things bigger than myself that should not be that size. Obviously, buildings are supposed to big, right? That's normal- doesn't bother me in the slightest. But when things are bigger when they're supposed to be (bear with me here, I promise this will all make sense soon) and not in the context that they should be, I start to freak out.
|Mickey, what you doin? STAHP.|
Of course, when faced with my own fear, which thanks to that forum post I now know to be Megalophobia (fear of large objects) I....well....I brick it. My pulse goes through the roof, I can't breathe as my chest tightens, I sweat and simultaneously go ice cold and leaving the situation calmly is not an option. In fact, running screaming comes as standard.
As far as I'm aware, the fear could be treated with cognitive behavioural therapy, but honestly, what would be the point? My megalophobia is something that only affects me once a decade or so, if I'm unlucky enough to stumble upon a hot air balloon festival or into a theme park where I've not scrutinised the website first for suspicious costumes and blimps. Seriously, most of the time, I'm fine.
|Hot air balloons from the outset are terrifying- but making them look like friendly alarm clocks? AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT.|
|Not even sure where this statue is. Is it clever and well thought out? Yes. Should it be there, being all big and stuff?|
|What lives in a pineapple under the sea? EJ'S NIGHTMARES!|
Why? Because like a good little blog writer, I got some photos to demonstrate what I'm talking about. All of them make my heart race for the wrong reasons, but the very last one is the creepiest of all- and for that reason, I'm going to attempt to edit these images into the text whilst squinting and wearing sunglasses so I can't see it's eyes. Yes, it's freaking eyes.
For years I'd just put down my fear as quirky, and certainly not anything that drastically affects my life. After all, I know how to avoid the things that freak me out, and can usually extract myself from the situation without causing to much of scene. I mean, how often do you come across a giant Spongebob Squarepants in your daily life anyways?
|THEY ARE COMING TO KILL US.|
It seems that Ronald had fallen off the roof the night before, and was now upside down, glaring into the dark restaurant with a menacing glare that fills me with a thousand nightmares. Honestly, I've never looked up Eyebleach so fast in my life.
So that's what Megalophobia is kids, and that's coincidentally what I suffer from and the reason I'll never see the Macy's Parade, hot air balloon festivals and anything inflatable that's not a reasonable sized bouncy castle.
|FUCK ALL OF THIS.|