Last time I checked, I've been living on this campsite for nearly four months with a potential leaving date from this park in mid September.
I am housed- and I use that term loosely- in an ex-customer tent that I'm sure has seen better seasons, on a patch of land affectionately often referred to as 'the homeless camp'. Our live area is shared by sixteen people, all couriers from three different companies, and the entire experience is not unlike living in an elongated episode of Big Brother.
Of course, this is my very first season as a courier, and unlike my neighbour Martin who boasts five seasons under his belt as well as a flat screen telly with satellite channels in his tent, I am, or at least was, completely inexperienced in the ways of packing to survive in such weird conditions.
Therefore, I'd like to offer you the wise words that I needed myself back when I was informed one Saturday morning in April that I'd be flying out the following day.
Things you need:
- Long socks;
- A good hoodie;
- Toenail clippers;
- Nail varnish (for toes only!);
- Hardcore flip-flops;
- A long cardigan which will become your coat/bathrobe;
- A Kindle.
Things you don't:
- Nice shoes;
- False eyelashes;
- Anything more than a basic wardrobe of five garments- which you will use for work.
Things to expect:
- Kiss goodbye to lie-ins;
- Having little to no privacy;
- Being able to hear your neighbours snore...
- ...And have sex
- Hearing the hokey cokey and Gangnam Style at noon and earlier on a daily basis.
Things you must do:
- Make some time to spend alone;
- Keep your knickers on (really? Must I explain this one? Your mother taught you better than that!);
- Do your dish and clothes washing regularly;
- Try not to get drunk and loud.
In short, you live on a campsite, and every single day you will feel unclean and grimy. Even after you've stepped out of the shower. It's so freaking hot that even your deodorant will slide off during application and you'll spend the summer looking like a greased up hippo. Thing is though, you don't realise how lucky you'll be; you're gonna meet some fantastic people, some interesting tourists and have lots and lots of fun. Even when it rains and your tent floods - you'll be glad you've took the plunge and gone to see some of the world, I promise.