Rent A Friend

Forever Alone
When I bookmark something to blog about later, I really should make a note of what I was looking at before I stumbled upon whatever the site is, as otherwise I confuse myself wondering what I put in a search engine in the first place.

Rent A Friend, I seem to remember, was discovered as a result of drinking too much red wine late at night and looking for employment at a time when I was still unemployed and all job sites, after a few hours turn into one endless directory. 

At some point, I'd started typing random keywords in with the word 'vacancy' to see what jobs were out there, but not in the usual places. In fact, if memory serves correct, I'd also discovered the porn version of the online Job Centre that same evening, where you could see vacancies listed for all the 'normal' jobs in the adult industry, like Video Editor, or Graphic Designer. Copywriting is one of my main key skills, but funnily enough there wasn't much call for that. 

The Billionaire Shop - just in case it was your lucky numbers that came up last weekend...

...or like me, you simply want to look at and dream of the things you will be buying on the day your lottery win is finally cashed. is not unlike looking at your mobile phone on Grand Theft Auto V, where as you've progressed to higher levels of money and that all essential RP, you can invest in items so ridiculously extravagant you can quickly become a target for other players to waste for kicks.

Model My Diet Fat Simulator

Model My Weight
This is apparently me. I could lose weight, but will still wear ugly jeans apparently. 
Months ago, I found an ingenious little website full of women (and some men too) that were all on a dieting mission helping each other out.

The idea of the site was that you entered in your height and weight, and you could view other users of the same gender, same weight or same height with differing weight. 

You were also encouraged to add your own photo so that other users could use your images for reference too.

The whole point I guess, was that you had a comparison for your own weight-loss (or weight gain) goals. Looking through the site, I thought it was an excellent idea and duly saved the address to blog about at a later date. 

However in the mists of time, and different bookmarks, I lost the address. I spent an entire evening rooting through Google for this original site of wonder, but my searches proved fruitless. The closest I could find was Model My Diet Fat Simulator- I know, catchy name, huh?- which provides a very basic version of what that other original site did; bob in your stats get a 'before' and 'after' of what you could look like if only you stopped pushing donuts into your gullet like your life depended on it.

If anyone knows the original site I'm blathering on it, please will you give me a nudge in the right direction? Cheers :D

Time to burn? There's always time for useless websites!

First post of 2016 and already it's near the end of January- start the year as I mean to go on, eh?

I feel like I've finally settled into my new gig where management clearly haven't worked out that I'm a complete moron and employ me to sit at a computer and look at websites all day. Now I've created a system and saved all of the sites I stumble across to blog about. You see, I'm nearly a proper grown up now, using all my bestest organisation skills.

For a long time, I've been a believer that the because the internet is so vast an expanse, one can never get bored. You can learn stuff, read stuff, play stuff and make stuff all day long. However, there are times when learning, reading, playing and making things aren't satisfying your internet urges. There are some times, as others around me can testify, that you just want to see something that you've not seen before, and you won't know what it is until you find it.

Fact of the Day: Jan de Doot

Sometimes, I'd like to consider myself brave in the face of pain- as a self proclaimed clumsy cow, I have walked many miles in heels unsuitable for my gait and posture with every step feeling like I was walking over hot coals with rickets. I've had my cartilages pierced, which is one of the sorest places on your body to have done (because you're going through gristle, not just soft, pink flesh) and I've had a number of Hollywood bikini waxes (that's everything, off. And bugger me it hurts like you wouldn't believe). During each of these tribulations, I have not cried or sobbed or given up. But the thing is, I'm not a proper hardass. 

If you want a proper hardass, look no further than Dutchman Jan de Doot who performed an operation on himself in 1651. Look at Carel van Savoyen's portrait of him from 1655 and he's holding an egg and a knife, not unlike an awkward Facebook profile picture. The oil painting however, refers to the tale of the self performed lithotomy, which despite my not having the same genitalia, still made me go weak at the knees.

David Parker Ray & the tapes I'm thankful I'll never hear

...I know, but have finally got a spare ten minutes to chuck an update together to say that although it's disappointing for some, I have not slipped off this mortal plane. What I have been doing however, is spending months working continental shifts, a work pattern that was surely implemented by the devil himself. I mean really- a week of nights, then a week of mornings, followed by a week of overnights? Nobody can do those shifts without it affecting their sanity and physical health and after a couple of months of shuffling down like a freshly transformed zombie, I was glad to start at Job 100, where I work week days only, like normal people. 

Anyway, despite the fact I've not been writing, I have of course been delving around the internet on breaks- huddled in a corner, plugged into my mobile with my headphones on and falling down wormholes like my life depends on it. Lately, I've been dallying in the world of crimes and missing people, and today's story is a horrific combination of the two. 

#Blackburn Royal Infirmary on Derelict Places

This evening I was going through my bookmarks, and I happened upon a link to a forum I found years ago, where some people had managed to get into Blackburn Royal Infirmary and taken a load of photographs of the place. I don't go to Blackburn very often, but the last time a few weeks ago I was gutted to see a Pizza Hut and a Morrison's built where the pedestrian entrance once was, encased in a cheaply made (and designed) retail unit. Behind there was a few new builds, and behind those loomed the old infirmary building. Beautiful once, but now dilapidated and vandalised, and presumably tied up in metaphorical red tape which neither allows it's demolition or potential re-purposing.

Have you ever typed your named into #UrbanDictionary?

Eve on Urban Dictionary
I did today. It made me beam!

Utherverse - or how I weirded myself out more than ever before

Last night I fell into a wormhole that weirded me out like no other. As always with wormholes, I start off looking for one thing in particular and before I know it, four hours has passed and I'm gazing at something which has absolutely nothing to do with my original purpose.

Last night was no different. 

I was online (as per usual), looking for a job like a good little job seeker. After going through the usual job sites, I ended up on Gumtree (or as Peta rather aptly calls it, Scumtree) and it was somewhere there I was perusing the jobs in the 'Miscellaneous/Other' category.

Oh how the world of blogging is changing!

Today I've been ill, so most of my day has been spent sat in bed feeling sorry for myself. Standard fare when you live with cats and they couldn't give a monkeys whether you're dead or alive- as long as you can spoon meaty chunks from a tin, they're good.

Anyways, I was bobbing about online, submitting my blog to a number of blog sites. It's something I do every year or so, partly to up my traffic, and partly because I like to see what other people are writing about and now, more than ever, I feel like a weirdo blogger out on her own.

Apparently I'm on Bloglovin now......

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Fact of the Day: The Death Whistle

Contrary to popular belief, it's not the high pitched noise Mariah Carey emits during 'Dream Lover' - instead it's an instrument used by the Aztecs which was only discovered by archaeologists twenty odd years ago.

Scared of flying? Prolly best not read this then, eh?

Plane Crash Info

On another one of my late night internet travels, I happened upon Plane Crash Info- a website dedicated to cataloguing all aspects of those rare occasions when planes just drop out of the sky. Personally, I don't fear plane crashes and never have. I went on my first flight in 2004 from Manchester to London, and my second from London to Bangkok on the same day. My dad, who was with me, was more nervous than I was (although he was trying to hide it), but I remained unfazed, mainly because I knew statistically the chances of a plane crash were incredibly slim.

Ten ways that you may have pissed me off on Facebook

This week, I spent the evening sorting out my Facebook friends into lists to prevent the annoying issues from..well, annoying me. If you haven't done this already, and you and me get annoyed by the same kinda stuff, I suggest you spend an hour or two doing this as well. Since I've made my friends lists, my news feed is no longer clogged with the annoying, and I can use Facebook without getting the urge to punch myself in the face through sheer frustration.*

I have accepted my fate...

...and I freely admit that although it has happened a lot sooner than I thought, I am officially a Cat Lady.

This is not a future I'd planned; in fact as a 'dog person', it's not what I'd expected at all- but hey, life has a habit of doing that- often the plans you had for yourself get waylaid as the Universe decides to gift you with something completely different along the way.

Fact of the Day: Megalophobia

This morning I was high as a kite on Nescafe's finest, cruising through forums and generally having a little upvote party, when I found some people discussing a fear. It was something that hit home as I know I suffer from the same fear myself, and have never met anyone else with this same issue.

For as long as I can remember, I have been petrified of things bigger than myself. Actually, that's a pretty broad description. I'm petrified of things bigger than myself that should not be that size. Obviously, buildings are supposed to big, right? That's normal- doesn't bother me in the slightest. But when things are bigger when they're supposed to be (bear with me here, I promise this will all make sense soon) and not in the context that they should be, I start to freak out.

Updated my Blog!

By 'updated', I mean 'redesigned' and by 'redesigned' I really mean 'sat on my ass for most of Sunday afternoon looking at fonts with all the creative drive of a house brick. I didn't mean to start fiddling with it, I really didn't - I'd just spent a couple of house updating my friend Mayah's blog with some nice plug-ins and a natty new design, and I think that's when my creative juices ran out.

I drank lots of strong coffee, paraded about the ground floor of the house deep in thought and idly doodled on paper waiting for some kind of inspiration to arrive, but it just didn't. Frustrated, I rushed the design and now it's bright green with nothing remotely 'ginger' about it. Fuck it - if the creativity doesn't arrive, you can't force it, right?

It's just frustrating as now I've spend half of my Sunday wasting time and can once again don the metaphorical Crown of Procrastination. In an attempt to put that crown in a dark cupboard and somehow completely change my personality trait from being a procrastinator to one of those people like my kid sister who spends her weekends getting up at dawn to do all manner of productive tasks, I started writing a diary again. Not so much a 'Dear Diary, my thighs rub together and I can't stop eating ice cream' affair, but more of a 'Jobs list for Sunday' thing.

In fact, I'd written a list called 'Blog Posts for the Future' whilst watching Casualty last night (not that I use car crashes and hospital drama to inspire me) and had neatly jotted down a range of posts that will one day soon, make it to this very page. That is of course, when I have disposed of my Crown of Procrastination.